Thursday, June 2, 2016

Random Ramblings ~ Who Am I As A Blogger?

I've never been very good when it comes to blogging regularly. I'll go through spurts where I'm posting almost everyday. Then I'll reach a point where it's only a couple times, and they're usually Waiting on Wednesday or Top Ten Tuesday posts. And then I'll reach a point where I don't post anything for weeks. It's usually due to being stressed out or not having any motivation or inspiration, with the latter happening when I actually have time.

But now I'm working on actually posting regularly, and this has forced me to think about who I am as a blogger. What do I want to write? What do I want to post? And with this comes my lack of inspiration or self-doubt when I think of various ideas. I'll think of an idea, but then I worry that it might be too similar to someone else's, that it might have already been done, or that it will end of terribly. I'm hoping I can work on this. I've been testing out some ideas and I might ask others what they think about it (but I'm super shy and self-conscious so we'll see how this goes).

Even though this is about blogging, this existential or quarter-life crisis (or whatever you want to call it) wasn't even brought up by blogging. It was caused by this huge talk I had with my mother recently. I'm in my third year of college, with two to go, and I plan to go to grad school for Dance Movement Therapy and to work in a hospital. While I'd like to go to grad school right after I finish my Bachelor's, my mother wants me to wait. She'd rather me stay in school for two more years to get a certification as a Physical Therapist Assistant. And this was certainly not what I had planned. I understand where she's coming from, but then I'd be doing what my parents want, and that's not very appealing to a 20 year old. And I feel like I wouldn't be fully committed to something that I never intended to do. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if I want to do something, I need to be completely committed. I'm 100% focused and determined when it comes to my education (even if there my be changes that I'm not too happy with), so I need to make sure I'm just as focused when it comes to blogging. I can't half-ass it.
I know that this probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but maybe I just needed to write this to get all this stress off my chest. Being in college and becoming an adult (sort of) has forced me to really think deep when it comes to my decisions and has forced me to really be committed. And that commitment hasn't fully transferred over to my blogging. I'm hoping that this revelation, or whatever it was, will help push me into becoming more focused on this aspect of my life. I really like blogging, even if I'm not great at it, and I'm hoping I'll like it even more when I reach the level of dedication I'm striving for. And I'm hoping I'll question myself and my ideas less, but we'll see how that goes! 😆

Has anyone else had a weird crisis thing when analyzing their current blogging situation? Please tell me I'm not the only one. 😅

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